God Is Bigger Than My Grief


Whether we believe that only by doing good in our life and in accordance with what is taught by our religion, then our life should be fine and always been smooth? What if something happened to us and God suddenly touches our life by turning a  mess in our life become a message of victory? Let’s see how God the Greatest works within His way…..

My birth name was Pujhena and after I became a Christian my name was replaced with Ruth Puji. I am a mother with two children, my husband had died a few years ago. I was born and raised by a family who devouted Islam. My father was Arabian descent and my mother was a Javanese. I also had brothers, and since childhood we had been  taught about the Islamic very strict.

One day I met a young man who came from Ambon Maluku. He was a Christian. Then I was in a relationship with him. During our relationship I tried to deepen my faith and knowledge of Islam, my religion. I joined Quran recitation club, Majelis Taqlim, etc. Finally we were married. As the time flied, one day for some reason my husband handed Christian spiritual songs and a Bible to me. I refused, but he forced me, threatened me and even did not hesitate to hit me. I was confused what had happened to him. Why he was totally changed and became stranged person? Finally, he left me.

With a deeply sad and frustrated, I decided to go back to my family, but still the problems could not be solved. How could Allah let bad things happened to me? I always try to do my best as my faith taught me to. I even brought my husband to convert Islam the same with me? I was devastated and felt hurt, so bad.  And then, one day, I met with a Christian family, they welcomed me and tried to introduce Jesus to me. It even worse to me, since I still remembered how my husband treated me badly. Not too long after that, I met my husband. Being confused of what should I did, somehow I ended up going to accept him back. I told him what had happened while we were separated, how it hurted me badly and deeply. He was felt sorry and promised not to do it anymore. He asked me to come to the church together. But, I still didn’t convert to Christian, yet.
God is Bigger than My Grief!!

God is Bigger than My Grief!!

During that time, I met with a man, who had been experienced with one program from YJK – LHM Indonesia, called “Equipping The Saint”. He was a good looking man, and kind also. He has symphaty and full of emphaty when it came to listen to my anxiety. He shared to me about how God always loves people who love him back without asked reward from Him first. How great was Jesus, who wanted to sacrifice Himself in the cross, just for saving the human from sins. How His eternal life and salvation would become ours if we want to follow Him unconditionally.And then, suddenly it came to me my reflection of how I live my life before. I felt I am really nothing without HIM. I believed, God has His own plan to bring back my husband to me! I knew for sure, that God loved me  very much also, and wanted me to follow Him. Then I asked to my husband to bring me to the church, to have baptized. I was baptized and converted my faith as a Christian in GPIB (West Indonesian Protestant Church), in Harapan Indah, Bekasi, West Java. Since then I became a Christian, but when my family knew that I had become a Christian, they firmly rejected me. They said I’ve became an apostates and an infidel. But I’ve decided to believe in Jesus, I have had faith in Jesus Lord. Until now, I remain a Christian and I believe in that the Lord Jesus has atoned for my sins. I believe that God wants to use me as a tool. He is bigger than my grief!!.

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